June is a month to celebrate many things. We celebrate weddings, graduations, vacations, reunions, children are out of school and “Thank-God-there’s–summer school.”
Along with all these celebrations, are family get-togethers. And with family usually comes “differences of opinion” a.k.a. “arguments.” Sometimes it’s the off-handed comment, meant for no one, but hurts someone. Occasionally it’s a crash of personalities, both going the same way on a one-lane road. For myself—sometimes I just run out of “nice minutes” (on my internal party meter) and I know its time to leave—before the fireworks begin. I had an uncle that “was just joking” when actually, his words were hurtful. Perhaps meaningful siblings make a joke to relieve tension, and the awkwardness just causes more. How many of us have met the relative that says or does something so ridiculous that the rest of the family bonds over our collective groans of embarrassment? (Imagine Aunt Janie whistling “Here Comes the Bride” thru her bottom dentures… at your wedding.)
All of the above are examples of “good humor” gone bad. When someone makes a joke that implies “superiority”, well, someone has to be “inferior” in order for the joke to work. We participate in jokes like that all the time. Male vs. Female, Blondes vs. Brunettes, or Americans vs. Terrorists are all examples of jokes that come to my emails daily. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I share, and most I delete.
Some people insist on putting those quirky “emoticons (think weird smiley face made from colon, dash and back parenthesis) after they write something teasing or sarcastic in an email. If you have to relieve tension this way, I suggest you just don’t send the email.
Lastly, in the peak of tension, some people think they need to entertain and distract from the moment. Sometimes I’m grateful for the distraction... and sometimes I’m not. My husband is particularly fond of this type of humor. And why not? He learned it from me.
June is also Firework Safety Month. Stay a safe distance from firecrackers, sparklers and spiteful jokes. Forgive yourself and others for the occasional “misstep” of humor. Most important, seek out and celebrate the healing power of humor.
Blessings of Gratitude, Humor, Laughter and Mirth,
Debra Joy Hart RN, BFA, CLL
Age Wise Care Management
debrajoyhart@gmail.com